BOOK REVIEW:
From the get-go Jasmine Dine explores important topics writing about various stages of her life. It’s clear to see she wrote this poetry book with the intention to impact those in need. Discussing her personal experience through poetry on childhood trauma, mental health, PTSD, and believing in yourself with a sense of purpose, Eleven After Eleven, is a powerful read.
Upon opening the book, she writes, “Thank you Universe”, with a trigger warning for the readers who might be sensitive to reading some hard but much needed topics that should be discussed more openly to give voice to these struggles.
At the beginning of the book there’s a beautiful reminder of the affirmation ‘I am enough’ acknowledging the surroundings in an environment where one is their own ‘invitation to rise’, which is a positive addition to the book. Although moving forward it gets dark with meaning as the writer expresses feelings and events that include emotional turmoil.
A big theme in the book discloses her childhood trauma carrying into her early adulthood, which many will resonate with. Penning her personal experience with childhood trauma, mental health struggles, critical thoughts, decision making, inner conflicts, and PTSD, she brings the reader on a journey to find meaning. Dine creates vivid imagery throughout this collection over wordplays, metaphors, similes, refrains, rhymes, and phrases with many traditional writings including free verse then in-turn will grasp the reader's attention from the get-go to keep the story going in an interesting way, rather than a one-format read.
Eleven After Eleven, is not a book one can put down. The reader will find themselves throughout the book as Dine triggers the unpleasant in a truthful yet delicate way that’s safe to let your guard down reading from start to finish.
Over the 92-page read, the book illustrates growing from the uncomfortable as she writes about abuse and long-term recovery to shift the narrative on your own life by using powerful words to influence everyday life. She was able to evoke emotions and memories in a safe way to re-read parts again and again.
Although some poems rhyme, and some don’t - Dine did not box herself into one genre or type of poetry freeing herself from the expected art form in order to tell her story on her own terms. Creating raw and poignant pieces that reflect on her own experiences, and with some parts being sensitive and vulnerable, she excellently did an incredible job to use her voice to be relatable and comforting. It truly shows her strengths, especially in a debut.
Jasmine Dine was born in Suffolk, England; and has since resided in over 50 houses in a variety of locations. She studied creative writing at Ruskin College, Oxford - and then went on to work defending human rights on behalf of Amnesty International. Her adoration for nature and determination to explore her trauma has driven her scripturient nature for many moons. She was first published in the young writers anthology ‘I Have a Dream’, and has since been featured in international art shows, blogs, anthologies and literary small press such as Heliopause Magazine, Witches ‘n Pink, and DancingQueenZine. She shows up for the healing power of the pen, but when she’s not reading or writing you can find her watering the plants and painting, but not simultaneously.
Words by Danielle Holian
INTERVIEW:
Tell us a bit about your writing background.
I have always had a passion for writing. English was my strongest subject in school; and, as is evident in my collection, my school years were not the easiest at home. Due to this, I always threw myself into creative writing tasks and competitions that were held at my school. I ended up being published aged 12 in a young writer’s poetry anthology, I also luckily won a few creative writing competitions around that age and then have turned to writing in journals, notes on my phone, any scrap of paper, the back of my hand and anywhere you can touch pen to surface, since. I always have considered it my main talent. I love reading and have done since I was a toddler. Any plug into other worlds is so vital for traumatised humans! I also studied creative writing and critical practise at University for nearly 2 years, until I dropped out due to internal struggles and relocation. In adulthood, I have been published in a few anthologies and zines, too. Books and writing were popular in my family, so my love for words was most likely passed down to me!
What, or who, inspired you to start writing?
It became clear to me during school that my love for poetry was a bit unusual. Whilst most of my peers loathed analysing Carol Ann Duffy and Simon Armitage, I loved it. To me, memorising poems was a way to ground myself when I was struggling to cope. As a teenager, I was most inspired by poets like Sylvia Plath, and classic poems like Invictus- by William Ernest Henley. I guess it was quite an amalgamation of things that inspired me to continue writing outside of set tasks in class. Other writers, books, and maybe a lack of confidence in other areas played a part. I think needing to get things out of my head and onto paper has been my way of coping, of purging, for a long time. Even writing lists is a bit meditative to me!
What made you want to publish your first book, Eleven After Eleven?
Well, a few years ago, I was suicidal- and when I desperately sought professional help, I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I was too traumatised at the time to feel safe telling someone about my abuse, which I hadn’t shared with many people at that time, especially a stranger who literally had 5 impatient minutes for me. I had been retraumatised multiple times that year, and so was behaving a bit erratically, hence the diagnosis. At the time, I felt disconnected from other people with Bipolar Disorder in support groups, because my situation felt different- but in those days I was just grateful to have SOME sort of diagnosis to explain my pain. To try and deal with this difficulty and confusion, I started a writing project. I wanted to write poems that were somewhat biographical about creative greats who have/had bipolar disorder, aka manic depression. I wrote about Van Gogh and Plath, Cobain and others. It was the first time I was posting poetry on the internet, and it got very little traction- but some positive feedback, it was mostly for me. Around this time, I started regular therapy sessions, and from this, it soon became clear that my diagnosis was incorrect- I actually have complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
I began to be able to improve my life, my daily experience and my mindset. I left some of the poems up, and, some-time after this, JP Publishing came across my poetry about Bipolar Disorder, and reached out to me to ask me to write a collection for them to publish. I was so excited because I had been trying to manifest a published book! I wanted to start fresh, and tell MY truths, not someone else’s, so with only 3 months, and whilst working full time, I put so much energy into this book! I had to work through a lot of the subject matters in it as I was going along- but my desire to speak truthfully about my life, (despite my previous shame around my abuse), and my desire to be open about how we have the power to change our own lives, was my biggest muse.
You describe the book as it "illustrates the face of trauma in four self-reflective stages, refusing to decorate the uncomfortable," why was it important to tackle this theme in your debut collection of poetry?
For me, the physical and emotional abuse I faced as a child, was something really private until just a few years ago, when I realised keeping it secret was only making me feel worse. I was scared of so many things, I think not being believed is first on all of our lists, as abuse survivors. I was afraid of how people would treat me, and I was afraid of being hurt more, I felt guilty about being honest, as if the most important thing was how my abuser would feel, or what she would do, if I told my story. I had been warned as a child that if I told on her, (by calling Childline as I had threatened to do after being strangled aged 12) that my sister who is very physically disabled, and my 8 years younger, brother, would be taken to care homes and *probably* abused there, themselves. I was the scapegoat, so as far as I know, I am the only one who was being abused physically and manipulated to such an extent. So, I didn’t out her, because they needed her, or at least she made me think they did. That fear completely silenced me until I was well into adulthood. My gorgeous siblings are older now and safe, and my youngest brother has another guardian as well to protect him- so when I was able to come to terms with it, I decided I should speak up to a few people I knew closely. Here’s the thing, there is nothing more freeing from the shackles of abuse than calling it what it is- because when you have been silenced and gaslit for so many years, you don’t know who to trust except yourself, so what’s the use in lying to yourself about it? I learned to trust myself, so I could have better relationships with others (and reparent my inner child)- and that honesty has changed my life. I think I partly wrote this book on these subjects to give some sort of explanation to people who knew me at the time I was being abused, but who don’t know me now. Because of how difficult that time was for me, I lost touch with all the people I knew then- to give myself a clean break, and again because I was afraid- my memory from my childhood is mostly just traumatic events, and so I don’t remember friendships that well, or even know how they grew apart. I think maybe the book was a letter to a million different people. Although, even if just one other person had similar experiences to me, and they read my work and feel a connection, that’s enough.
How has your life in general influenced your work?
My writing has definitely been affected by my experiences but I couldn’t say how exactly. When I started understanding my spirituality more, on the upward curve- after my last depressive episode- I began to realise my own power and the secret to changing my life experiences- I started to believe in magic again. My writing is about the lowest lows and the highest highs- and some of the stuff in between. I have tried to use rhyme, traditional verse and other literary devices to highlight these areas in each respective piece. I try to be raw and honest about the bad bits, but I think the collection as a whole is uplifting! I’m in such a good place now in my life, one I never dreamed of. I don’t know if I would write the same without my struggles- or even write at all- but how do we identify the true influences of our work? Is it possible to really know?
And how do you find the balance between writing about your own personal experiences and exploring topics that may not necessarily be autobiographical, but still speak to so many people?
Balance is one of my favourite words! I think the truth is that even in the pieces that aren’t autobiographical, I’ve worked on them from a place of something personal to me, or drawn from many of my experiences put together, and how they made me feel, to create something different. For example, I wrote a poem with weather words hidden within about young friendship; how it can change just like the weather- and that poem wasn’t about any one person, but more of a feeling surrounding the subject. So, yeah, I think mostly my work draws from feelings, and as a human I think that if you connect to a feeling you have had, you will find that other humans have felt it, too.
What makes a piece of your writing right to post on your Instagram, versus the ones that stay in the book only?
I’m still working on that. For me it’s kind of difficult because it feels like my collection is understood better as a whole, as the journey, rather than individual poems, so I guess I have just been posting poetry on my Instagram that feels like it relates to my next project: a Podcast about self-healing from trauma and/or mental health struggles, using lots of helpful methods I’ve learned and used in the past few years to get to the healthy and centred place I’m in now.
And finally, what advice would you give to aspiring writers?
To any and all aspiring writers, know this: you are a writer from the moment you put pen to paper (or fingers to keys), I started introducing myself as a poet long before I had a book deal- and to be honest, it’s my belief that doing that is what got me a book deal in the end- the belief in myself (that I was faking to begin with!) If you are writing, you’re a writer! You can be so many things, we’re multi-faceted as humans/ but don’t let whether you are SELLING or POSTING your creations be the deciding factor of your identity! You are you, and only you get to decide who you are.